Friendships, once considered a secondary priority in the mental health arena, are now gaining recognition as vital to well-being and happiness. This shift in perception has given rise to a new trend: friendship therapy. Like couples counseling, friendship therapy focuses on relationship dynamics, helping friends navigate challenges and strengthen their bonds.
Years ago, Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman found their close friendship at a crossroads. Communication between them had faltered, leaving their once strong bond strained. Determined to salvage their relationship, the co-authors of Big Friendship: How We Keep Each Other Close turned to friendship therapy. Through structured sessions, they explored their relationship patterns and worked on rekindling their connection.
“The structure was everything,” Sow reflects. “Without it, we would have stayed on the surface, never addressing the deeper issues. It was incredibly helpful to have an outsider guide us through this.”
When Sow and Friedman sought help in 2016, friendship therapy was a relatively unknown concept. They struggled to find a therapist who specialized in friendships rather than romantic or business relationships. However, the landscape is changing. As awareness grows about the significant role friendships play in mental health, more people are turning to therapy to repair and nurture these vital connections, especially in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic.
“The way society views friendship is evolving,” says Miriam Kirmayer, a clinical psychologist and friendship expert based in Canada.
Barbie Atkinson, a therapist at Catalyst Counseling in Houston, has witnessed this shift firsthand. In the past, clients would inquire hesitantly about attending therapy with a friend, unsure if it was even an option. Today, approximately 25% of her clientele consists of friends seeking therapy together.
Friendship therapy clients approach Atkinson for various reasons, such as navigating political differences, coping with shared grief, or adjusting to major life transitions like a friend having a baby or relocating for work. “It’s just normal human stuff,” Atkinson explains.
The therapeutic process for friends is similar to that of couples therapy, minus the discussions about sex, romance, or co-parenting. Atkinson helps friends understand their attachment styles, improve communication, and set goals for their relationship. “You see two people who are saddened by the state of their friendship and are actively trying to mend it,” she says.
According to Victoria Kress, a professor of psychological sciences and counseling at Youngstown State University in Ohio, most friendship conflicts can be resolved collaboratively, provided the relationship hasn’t turned toxic or abusive. Kress, who frequently mediated disputes between friends during her time as a college counselor, sees friendship therapy as a powerful tool for promoting growth and healing across all relationships in a person’s life.
“Friendship counseling is an excellent way to encourage personal development and emotional healing,” Kress notes. “The skills learned in these sessions can enhance all areas of a person’s relational life.”
The importance of strong friendships is increasingly recognized by the public as well. Recent research suggests that close friendships may be even more crucial for well-being than familial bonds. A 2023 survey found that 61% of U.S. adults believe having close friendships is essential for a fulfilling life, compared to only about a quarter who say the same about marriage or parenthood. As traditional milestones like marriage and children become less central, many people are investing more in their platonic relationships, sometimes with the help of a therapist.
Although official data on the prevalence of friendship therapy is limited—likely because it’s not a formalized specialty—therapists like Paul Hokemeyer, a Colorado-based marriage and family therapist, have observed a growing demand for it. Hokemeyer has even worked with friends himself, including pairs grappling with the transition from college to adulthood.
Friendship therapy seems particularly popular among millennials, a generation known for valuing mental health, human connections, and experiences. “There’s a real hunger for human connection,” Hokemeyer says. “Millennials, in particular, place a high value on friendships and mental well-being.”
Kirmayer has also noticed an uptick in interest. The demand has become so great that she has shifted her focus to offering friendship-focused workshops that are accessible to people across various locations, circumventing the limitations imposed by licensing requirements. “This is something many of us are dealing with,” she says.
As society continues to acknowledge the profound impact friendships have on mental health, friendship therapy is poised to become a mainstream approach for those seeking to strengthen and sustain these essential bonds.
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