As parents face increasing stress related to childrearing, particularly exacerbated by the pressures of social media, a recent advisory from the U.S. Surgeon General has brought attention to the mental health struggles of mothers. The announcement acknowledges that raising children in today’s digitally driven world, compounded by relentless to-do lists, is taking a toll on mental well-being, particularly for mothers of young children.
In my work as an exercise physiologist, I aim to encourage mothers to incorporate physical activity into their daily lives while also practicing self-compassion. However, it’s essential to acknowledge the complexities: while physical activity can enhance mental well-being, it may seem like just another obligation in an already packed schedule.
Traditional Fitness Approaches Fall Short
Expecting busy mothers to engage in traditional fitness routines — commuting to a gym, working out for 30-60 minutes, then returning home — simply isn’t feasible for many. Despite this, social media often promotes unrealistic standards, with some mothers showcasing their return to pre-pregnancy fitness levels.
Unfortunately, structured exercise routines can be a deterrent for many, particularly mothers, who struggle to find time for self-care amidst childrearing and work responsibilities. As parental responsibilities increase, the support systems needed to ease the burden are often lacking, leaving little time for physical or mental self-care.
A 2020 study found that 39% of working mothers in the United States did not engage in any vigorous physical activity during the week. However, those who managed to incorporate regular exercise into their lives reported a higher quality of life.
Embracing Flexible Fitness
Given the time constraints and competing priorities that mothers face, it’s clear that rigid fitness programs are not the solution. Many mothers, particularly those with young children, find that even the best-laid plans for structured exercise are disrupted by unpredictable events like a child’s illness or work demands.
In recent research, my colleagues and I explored a new approach: encouraging mothers to engage in physical activity based on their feelings of readiness. This method allows them to prioritize their own well-being without feeling pressured to push their bodies beyond what feels manageable. One participant in the study expressed relief at being able to adapt her routine:
“I’m obviously not feeling so great, so I’m not going to push myself to do anything too intense … it gave me permission to focus on myself and recover.”
In contrast, a previous study offering structured online exercise programs for new mothers revealed that many participants struggled to keep up, leading to feelings of failure. One mother described her experience:
“At the end of the day, I was like, ‘Yeah, no, I’m not doing this video. I’m going to bed.’ It made me feel like I wasn’t enough — like I should have done more.”
The Rise of ‘Exercise Snacks’ and Green Exercise
As a solution, flexible fitness approaches are proving more effective. Short bursts of movement, often referred to as “exercise snacks,” allow mothers to integrate physical activity throughout the day without the need for long, dedicated sessions. This approach is gaining popularity, as it aligns with the demands of motherhood while still offering health benefits.
Additionally, the traditional “no pain, no gain” mindset is being replaced with a focus on enjoyable exercise, allowing individuals to choose the intensity that feels right for them. This shift has been shown to increase engagement in physical activity, as it promotes a more positive experience. Another promising trend is “green exercise,” which involves outdoor activities that allow participants to connect with nature while staying active, further enhancing the pleasure of the experience.
Personal Reflections on the Reality of Fitness for Moms
As a full-time working mother of two young children, I’ve had to drastically change my approach to fitness. With limited local support, I’ve adapted by fitting in physical activity wherever I can: doing yoga at the office before school pick-up, jogging around baseball fields during sports practices, and lifting weights in the backyard while my kids play nearby. It’s far from a perfect routine, but it helps me stay active and feel better both physically and mentally.
While every mother faces unique challenges, one thing remains clear: missing out on physical activity during these stressful years can have negative consequences for both physical and mental health. The key may lie in flexibility and self-compassion, recognizing the numerous demands on mothers while still making space for movement and well-being.
By adopting flexible approaches and staying mindful of their own limits, mothers can nurture their mental and physical health — even in the midst of their busiest days.
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